NCAA Investigation of Music Dept (Humor)

10-9-89

Perspective:

NCAA Investigates Music Department

It was a pretty good week for Cobber sports. The Cobber men's soccer team got in the win column in the MIAC. And the football team kept their title hopes alive with another win.

But a dark cloud settled over the Concordia campus last week. Word has reached Cobberville that the NCAA has launched a full scale investigation of Concordia's famed music department.

Charges of financial inducements to music recruits, student musicians having agents, and year 'round practicing top the laundry list of pending charges.

Possible penalties include a limitation on scholarships, a ban from television performances, and even the so-called death penalty: cancellation of the Christmas Concert.

Ann T. Trust, head of the NCAA enforcement division, said a news conference is set for Wednesday to announce the penalties to be imposed. She indicated that the music department's blatant disregard and almost total ignorance of NCAA regulations is likely to weigh heavily in the final report of the investigators.

When asked whether extension of NCAA jurisdiction to a music department might be unprecedented, Trust replied, "They compete for students and they have huge paying crowds. That makes it our business. By the way, what program do you work with?" "Hockey." I answered.

The music department reacted with shock and anger to word of the investigation. Renee Clausen, Cobber choir director, said, "I bet it was St. Olaf that turned us in."

Music department professor, Dr. Robert Hanson, tried to put a upbeat spin on the news, "We've dealt with adversity before over here. If we can perform in the gymnasium all these years we can certainly deal with anything those yokels can throw at us."

Hanson went on to say, "But I've never heard such a stupid set of rules. These idiots from Kansas want to tell young artists that they can only get coaching for a limited time during the year. And they're telling us that we can get in trouble if a 20-year-old student of ours wants to make a little money by singing at a wedding. Don't students have some rights?" Hanson admitted his obvious unfamiliarity with the NCAA.

Asked about charges that Division III Concordia was offering scholarships based on musical ability, choir director Clausen replied, "Of course we take into account the music ability of the kids we recruit. We're not idiots. How do you think we got so good at what we're doing?" Though unofficial at this point, the following NCAA rules violations seem to form the central basis for the probe.

1. The music department has offered a substantial number of scholarships to talented high school musicians, contrary to Concordia's status as a NCAA Division III non-scholarship school. Aid based on performing ability is not allowed.

2. Numerous Cobber musicians are reported to have agents who arrange appearances in which the Cobber student is paid to perform, thereby compromising the Godly principle of amateurism.

3. Music department staff have repeatedly violated the NCAA's limitations on practice time and length of season. Charges of off-season tutoring and performance seasons which go well beyond the NCAA's 21-week limitation are apparently not being denied by music department staff.

4. There are also reports that throat lozenges used by some Cobber choir members at last December's Christmas concert contained ingredients which appear on the NCAA's banned substances list.

5. Tryouts for prospective students, contact with recruits on the day of high school events, and multiple recruiting visits to campus are also among the allegations.

The NCAA's Miss Trust told this reporter that they hope to make an example of Concordia. "It's one thing for us to go in and bust the Upper Iowa type schools. But we wanted to show that, just because a school might have a a prestigious music reputation, they are not immune from scrutiny."

She went on to say that, "Music factories like Concordia destroy any possibility of a level playing field in the competition for high school music talent. Our crackdown on MIT's engineering department last year showed our commitment to not letting individual member schools make their own determinations as to what is best for their students. That kind of thinking would lead to nothing but educational chaos."

"Far too many students are being misled into thinking they can have careers in limited fields like engineering, music and fitness." Miss Trust added.

Citing the difficulty the NCAA has had this fall in filling the 81,000 new positions on the NCAA's investigative staff, Miss Trust said, "What this country needs is more lawyers. Our member schools should begin to realize that. Intercollegiate competition has become a multi-billion dollar industry. And it takes a lot of investigators to make sure that none of that money falls into the hands of students."

When asked whether a hearing on the music department matter might be held, Miss Trust said, "The Supreme Court recently ruled that we are a private organization.

We don't have to offer due process to anyone. We're the NCAA. Say, you look a little tall to be a hockey coach."

"No, really, mam, I'm with the hockey program."

These pages are maintained by Jerry Pyle pyle@cord.edu. These articles are copyrighted © and may not be published or reproduced without the express permission of Jerry Pyle.

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